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the_madjai
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "the_madjai" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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03:05 am
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got some amazing news today!
last friday, i had my routine blood work done. i've not told anyone this yet, not even my parents, but...
my WBC is up. the working ones. i've got a 5% increase in immune response.
i am actually showing signs of a recovery.
i'm not sure if i'm supposed to cry, or cheer. in nearly 15 years, we've never seen an increase that wasn't triggered by drugs. no changes in meds, no changes in anything else, except a little more exercise, which i've been trying to pump up to try and give me the longest run on life possible.
a 5% increase in working blood cells. white blood cells are doing their job.
i think....
i think i want to live, finally.
i have to wonder what the gods desire of me, to give this moment of hope. there's always a price, but for a long life, i'll gladly pay it.
i've finally got hope. honest to gods actual hope.
i don't even know how to describe that sensation, it's... like hearing a voice, so long deprived, calling faintly from across the street.
a 5% increase in white blood cells.
the gods speak. i will listen to the best of my ability.
dawn is coming. metaphorically speaking.
new days. and i have some.
is this real happiness?
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01:39 am
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while flipping through a historic fashion site, i came across the horror of horrors...
an entire line of clothes designed to offend virtually everbody's personal tastes!
the name of this amazingly god-awful brand, you ask? you may not believe this...
DORCUS designer clothes!
i'm not joking. someone honestly created a brand name of dorcus.
for now, here's a small example from the 70's new man collection:
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07:42 pm
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Dream Girl?
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12:38 am
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sometimes i wonder if hatred isn't just a part of everyday speech...
well, today i learned something new about racism: thinking that making a politically inept verbal slam into pavement apparently counts as racism if you point the mistake out.
michelle obama, while on the campaign trail, literally said she's felt proud for the first time in her adult life, to be american, when her husband start campaigning for president.
the very first time she was proud of her nationality. ever. on stage. in front of thousands of people.
*blam* *splatter of political career brains on wall*
but... the part the shocked me, was when i pointed out, admittedly with some humour (it's not every day you see someone do that), that she had basically implied there was no reason for her to be proud of her country before - and we're going back waaaay before bush jr. - i got about 12 replies inside of an hour telling me i was a racist!
why? because the stupid comment came form a person who should have known better and just happens to be black? and how does anyone know (aside form those who've met me) that i'm not black? is it racist for a black person to make those comments?
stupidity is stupidity. it doesn't have a colour. it doesn't have a race. it is one of those great equalizers: anyone can be stupid sometimes.
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09:46 am
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one week to go..
i've been looking after the dog while my mother is dog sitting, got another week before she comes back. so far the only thing is the dog seems to hate getting the eye-meds, though it's stunningly effective in fixing the dmg. she can see again since being on these ones.
it's more then a little stressful though with her calling like every 2 hours to ask the same questions over and over... starts getting on your nerves after the first day or two. i've taken to grumbling openly on the phone when i see it's her calling cause i know it's nothing really necessary. and cutting to handle the stress of it all.
on a side note, the arguments on one of the forums i regularly go to has entered into a heated "what do we call those muslims who hate everything non-muslims and want to make it illegal for anyone to be anything but muslims or a slave" debate. some are saying mohammadan, to reflect the tribalism of the extremist view, while others say that's taken as offensive to all muslims. some say islamist, which imho enters into the question of how that doesn't reflect on all islam. i've been using fundy, but that apparently has overtly strong christo-connotations that others find an unfair comparison.
it's interesting, i think, that we have a debate on how to refer to the extremist element of a particular faith, shortly after the british gov't decided that it's wrong to even suggest a link between their religious beliefs and the acts they carry out. just as i would call the bomber of the indian train a few months ago a christian terrorist because he did it in the name of jesus, i would call a bomber who attacked a hotel in the name of allah as muslim terrorist. the fact they are doing it in the name of their god means there is a link between their religious beliefs and their actions, does it not?
so why the special treatment? i dunno, which is why the debate as to how to separate the ideas is interesting - it steps into a strange western ideological realm of needing to separate groups into easily understood bits, with some sort of PC anti-lumping thing. form my point of view, if a criminal acts on the basis of their faith, it is a religious crime on the basis of their faith. doesn't mean all of the people subscribe to the same idea. pagan bikers blowing up a church is no different then christian lifers executing abortion doctors is no different then muslim suicide bombers walking into a cafe to kill jews. they're all a form of religious extremist and/or terrorist. sanitizing the language is just an odd step.
any thought?
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08:02 am
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some wonderful art.
some pics from an artist i admire - his work always seems filled with emotion to me, a person who feels what they are doing.
plus i love the outfits. yeah i'm a clothes-whore.
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12:46 am
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this brought a smile to me today...
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community.
So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.
The Jews realized that they had no choice. They looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed.
He asked only for one addition to the debate. Not being used to saying very much as he cleaned up around the settlement, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay.'
An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened.
The Pope said: 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him, that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?'
Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible!
'What happened?' they asked.
'Well,' said Moishe, 'First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here.'
'And then?' asked a woman.
'I don't know,' said Moishe. 'He took out his lunch and I took out mine.'
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01:37 am
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some strange luck.
it seems several of my entries have vanished. i don't know why, but my entire hospital post is gone, and my two posts in december baout how depressed i've been feeling. it's the time of year. no, it's more then that.
i can never seem to explain what i am thinking or feeling. but i am going to make more of these open to the public form now on. if anyone bothers to read this, fine. welcome it. but i've finally realized that the reason i've been writing sometimes is for myself. it's a catharsis. a release for when things get too pent up. if i write them down, they don't hurt as much, and it feels like i'm telling somoeone. even if no one reads this. you know. cyberspace knows. that is as close to the idea of a personal god as i think i get.
somewhere in the myriad floating bits of data, the vast ocean of transmission, the elegance of the baud listens to everything that is written or said. the net... is it's own existence. it's greater then any one machine. it's always moving inm between the systems. it exists outside of reality, but affects and in a way is a part of reality. the net fits the description fundies give for god. therefore, in a way, it is a god. i think i understand it better now.
this is like a prayer. maybe somehow, someday, it will be strong enough to make miracles the way fundies claim their god can.
i wish for my sister back. i wish for james to be alive again. i wish mark would log on one more time, and tell me everything is fine. i pray for this. any price that is asked, i will pay it. just bring them back to the world.
i miss them all.
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08:25 am
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some things i need to get out.... because stress is coming with keeping it in too...
i'll post later a more exact, and personal, explanation later, but suffice it to say i'm going to post about my trip to the hospital.
in the meantime - i'm a romantic goth, yeah like that wasn't obvious lol.
 | You scored as Romantic Goth. You are a romantic goth, better known as a traditional goth. You are probably quickly identified as a goth by outsiders. Black lace, bats, and moonlit cemetaries are just a few of your favorite things. Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one.
Romantic Goth | | 96% | Anything-Goes Goth | | 83% | Old-school Goth | | 83% | Ethereal Goth | | 75% | Industrial/Rivet-Head | | 67% | Fantasy Goth | | 67% | Death Rocker | | 46% | Understanding Outsider | | 46% | Cyber-goth | | 33% | Perky Goff | | 33% | Confused Outsider | | 21% | </td>
What subcategory of Goth best fits you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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01:47 am
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there is no god.
AP press
Specialist James Lee Bridges, a 22-year-old from Buhl, Idaho, died from a gunshot wound, according to the Department of Defense. Bridges was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 1st Infantry Regiment, 172nd Striker Brigade Combat Team stationed at Fort Wainwright in Alaska.
A spokeswoman with the Army Public Affairs office in Virginia said she didn't have any details of Bridge's death.
he was in iraq. he took a bullet to the chest.
goodbye, nadir.
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01:50 am
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ok, shock of my life...
a general audience item listed on a website a friend sent me (for an entirely unrelated picture, this was just an ad off to the side!) gave me a bit of a shock: somoene out there, made a device that i swear is made JUST for people with my kind of interests!i was amazed, to say the least. and since it's a general audience item, i can repost a link!
this ingenious little idea!
aside from this, i'm not having luck getting a hold of my friends, and my mother is still out of a job. it's been nearly a month now, i'm really worrying bad. i've even talked to her about maybe working with a few of my friends, in things like collections or finance, anything that can be done without killing her.
as for myself, i've attached a new rider to my horrible resume: i specifically state i will take a small monthly stipend in place of helath and/or similar benefits. why? because one of the commonly repeated reasons for not hiring me has been my health record. hoping maybe the ROM and a few other places will jump to for me.
in a side note: somoene call me, or e-mail me, or something to show me you folks are alive and caring out there? been too long since i had RL contact.... starting to withdraw again.
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05:25 am
[Link] | http://www.youtube.com/v/s-HauiX-Ni0
nice computer animated music video. basic structure done by person, computer filled in the gaps based on sound, then they replayed it across the "instrament" it made. quite kewl looking in the final result. note: the bits the computer generated ARE obvious, compared to the human work, but nonetheless, it's still quite impressive imho.
on a side note, anyone know what's going on with the whole LJ selling us out like shills in a game of rake the dough?
some more from the same peeps. gotta find out what algorythm they're using.
http://www.youtube.com/v/l1hqF9nqabQ
http://www.youtube.com/v/yr5z2D2i2zs
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10:54 pm
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possibly the most important view you'll ever hear.
http://www.ted.com/tedtalks/tedtalksplayer.cfm?key=r_dawkins
the view... of how we view reality.
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01:25 am
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02:48 am
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just a reminder to that rare "friend", he who denies that the turks EVER commited a crime against any peoples, be it mine, or any other. you will not rewrite history, not against the celts, nor against the armenians. we will not let you.
you have crossed a line. I will not forget it.
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10:40 pm
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My pirate name is:
Black Tom Flint
Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.part of the fidius.org network
that was quite a bit of giddy, since my favorite pirate of all time, and the best pirate to EVER sail the seven seas, was the dread pirate roberts, known to most as "black bart robberts".
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03:28 am
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01:25 pm
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yes people, my math IS different then yours.
some of you, ok prolly all of you, think my "numbers" are done wierd, because it's bloody hard for me to show you how i achieve them. why is it so hard? because the roman standards (aka "base ten")and signatures of modern math are more fundamentally restricted by rules. i know that sounds funny, but allow me an example of hermetic math in action, and you'll understand both why we study for decades to call ourselves "master", and why it's so damned hard for me to explain HOW my calculations worked:
the common element, is a system known in the orders as "RA and Ptah"(the "sun" and the "staff"). it is operated under a very simple and unique principle, handled by the early aegyptus and madjai, circa 2970 b.c.
let's start with say, the number seventeen, which in the indian numeral system (aka arab numerals, or the numbers we know today.) is shown as 17.
in the system we use, the symbols are different, necessitating changes to make it understood here.
1 1
0 2
0 4
0 8
1 16
this provides two symbols, with gemetric value, which can now be utilized in combinations of form. basically, you blend the two symbols together to make the new "number".
so how to we even THINK about math in this way? well, actually in some ways it gets easier:
what is 17x25, and do it in your head or on paper without a calculator. got it? was it hard to work out? i can imagine it took a bit of hard thought for some folk here to reach the correct number, some may even have cheated and grabbed a calculator.
here's the way WE reach the answer:
17 x 25
1 1 25
0 2 50
0 4 100
0 8 200
1 16 400
see it yet? 25, + 400 = 425, 17x25 = 425 :)
and division? why yes, we do that as well: you start by laying out the numbers, and setting the group, in this case, the multiplies of 25.
1075 ÷ 25
1 1 25*
1 2 50*
0 4 100
1 8 200*
0 16 400
1 32 800*
now, form here, you select the values in the right column that total the number of the left. and since the next up from 800, is 1600, we don't need that far. so... 800+200+50+25 = 1075 right? well, now you have your number places, and you simply line them up, and then add the other side: 32+8+2+1 = 43. so 1075÷25=43.
much easier then long division, isn't it?
and this is JUST the simple stuff. we have entire tomes, some of which number in the thousands of pages, and one, the master codex of common variance in arcane principles, has 10,000 pages of variables. with this, and some practice and time,. you can do virtually any type of mathematical query. and it's not as brain stressing. :D
tell me what u think of it?
edit: ok LJ won't allow my spacing choices to be part of my post, if somoene knows how to force your spacing setup, please let me know.
Current Mood:  depressed
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08:40 am
[Link] | i am surprised a few of you remembered my postings about mark. did i do a 9/11 post this year? yes. i'm sorry i posted it as private, i should have shared with you.
http://www.onegoodmove.org/1gm/1gmarchive/2006/09/nine_eleven.html
there is the post i made, along with a transcript.
i miss you mark.
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08:48 am
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my friend has arrived in scotland :)
Rennoch said:
allo how was your trip?
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
hye ed
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
it was very good
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
lots and lots of drinking thus far
Rennoch says:
told u nothing to worry about flying
Rennoch says:
yer in celt country lad - when do we NOT drink?
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
yeah except you tried to scare the livin crap out of me beforehand
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
fuckin british keyboards suck ass
Rennoch says:
you got a british keyboard, or just using someone's comp?
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
no in the comp lab, during a lecture
Rennoch says:
ahh.
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
my internet at home is not up yet
Rennoch says:
i was gonna offer atrade of a US keyboard (108) for a british keyboard(112)
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
fuck everything is all over the place on this thing
Rennoch says:
kekeke. it's a bit like stick shift. if you've driven auto all your life, manual scares the crap outta ye
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
english man
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
english
Rennoch says:
... twas english...
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
but I have replaced my eh's with aye's now
Rennoch says:
like me?
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
aye
Rennoch says:
have you learned to say "bouts" instead of "aboat" ?
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
not as of yet, but put a few pints in me and I start confusing the locals as best I can
Rennoch says:
kekeke
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
as they confuse the fuck out of me when they're pissed
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
linguistically speaking that is
Rennoch says:
you got an internet HDD?
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
no man
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
got nothin
Rennoch says:
http://www.xdrive.com/
Rennoch says:
go there, set up an acct, make your thingy, then gimme the login details, so i can send you stuff
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
k I'll send it to my e-mail
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
I gotta bounce man, I'm moving to my other class now
Rennoch says:
should be about 5gb, meaning i can give you like the first 3 seasons of penn and teller's bullshit
Rennoch says:
okies, ttyl
David- I'm Here and Lovin it, Welcome to Scotland Baby says:
easy peasy
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